When perpetual avoidance is allowed, this familiarity never develops, and the kryptonite effect entrenches itself. The activity in question, however innocuous to everyone else, seems to wither your power and confidence whenever you get too close. Only by getting close despite the effect, and experiencing what dancing, algebra, or working with puff pastry is all about — rather than simply reacting to your old, scorned-outsider’s thoughts about it — can you neutralize the effect.